


waves

by jarorrakunsenpaisan



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Character Study, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Kushina and Minato and best hubby and hunny, Kushina talks to Kurama, Naruto is a child, ish?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:40:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23307694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jarorrakunsenpaisan/pseuds/jarorrakunsenpaisan
Summary: “How dare you ask that!” Kyuubi snarls, his hair standing on end. “What’s your sudden interest in my backstory? You were perfectly fine with letting me rot away before, what’s changed—”“Naruto.” Kushina says plainly, exhaling slowly.“Naruto,” Kyuubi drawls, unimpressed.“Yes, Naruto. My son is the entire reason I’m even offering you a chance to redeem yourself, so unless you want to be stuck here for the rest of eternity, I suggest you start trying to get me on your side.”
Relationships: Kyuubi | Nine Tails | Kurama & Uzumaki Kushina, Namikaze Minato/Uzumaki Kushina, Uzumaki Kushina & Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 10
Kudos: 101





	waves

**Author's Note:**

> bro i wrote this months ago and told myself i was going to go back and edit it and change parts i didn’t like. then i come back during quarantine (cuz a girl gets bored at midnight when she has nothing to do for the next month) and see that the story is completely fine, just needs grammar fixes, and i didn’t even hate any of it ?? why do i do this to myself.

Kushina likes to think of herself as a good person. 

Even if she sometimes runs into things and breaks them, or laughs too loudly in public, or says rude things to old women at the laundromat—but hey,  _ they’re _ the ones who blatantly steal her washer  _ halfway through the cycle _ . 

Because she’s definitely too outgoing for a “lady”, and she doesn’t have much impulse control, but at least she  _ tries _ . She’s always strived to be a kind person, even if it’s just by saying hello as she passes a sad looking stranger in the marketplace. 

After years of working at it, she thinks that she might be becoming less of a crazy red habanero and more of a sweet red strawberry. 

At least, that’s what Minato tells her.

But an unexpected conversation with her son makes her rethink all of that. 

“Momma!” Naruto yells, the sound sudden and sharp through the previously quiet apartment. Footfalls follow the call, fast and pounding on the wooden floor. 

Kushina glances up so quickly from her embroidery that her neck snaps, and previous curiosity bleeds into worry as Naruto barrels around the corner, skidding before falling backwards. There’s a rather loud thump as his head slams back on the ground, and he lets out a whimper. 

“Naruto!” She chastises, standing to make her way over. She can’t help the small chuckle that escapes her, though, as Naruto sits up and groans. Her son really is so reckless already, and he’s only five! 

“I’m okay…” Naruto mumbles with a slight pout, rubbing the back of his head. Then, suddenly, like a bolt of electricity going through him, he scrambles onto his feet and begins jumping up and down, eyes wide. He claps his hands together in addition to his stomping feet, and she feels guilt for the people who live beneath them. “Mom! Momma! I have to show you something!” 

Kushina chirps to show her interest, deciding not to mention that the absurd amount of noise Naruto is making is unnecessary. She then nearly falls flat on her face as Naruto grabs her hand and  _ pulls _ . 

“Okay, okay, I’m coming!” She laughs, standing to follow Naruto down the hallway and into his room. 

Inside, things look relatively normal. Kushina internally sighs in relief, glad she doesn’t have to clean up any well-intended messes. 

Naruto runs across the room to his little play desk, grabbing a small stack of papers. Then he’s zooming right back to Kushina. He clambers onto her lap without a trace of mercy, stabbing his elbows and knees  _ everywhere _ . She tries to contain her noises of pain, but Naruto eventually settles, back pressed to her stomach. 

She peers over Naruto’s head of hair at the papers in his hands. The first page has something resembling a forest on it, with two figures standing in the middle of it. Upon further inspection, and judging by the red and yellow squiggles, she concludes that the two people are her and Minato. 

She smiles, her heart doing a weird swoop that she’s become used to ever since Naruto’s birth. Her son is just the cutest child on the planet, isn’t he? 

“Did you draw something, sweetie?” 

Naruto wriggles in her lap and giggles, obviously excited. 

“Yeah, I drew a story about a dream I had! Look,” He points to the figures. “This is you, and this is papa. You’re standing in the forest being strong ninjas and protecting Konoha!” 

Kushina laughs softly, giving Naruto’s middle a fond squeeze. 

Naruto moves the page, setting it aside. 

The next drawing is similar enough, but this time Minato is wearing his hokage’s cloak, and it looks like they’re running. 

“Now you two are running towards the danger.” 

He sets that one aside as Kushina prides herself on her abilities to disconcert his mess of lines. 

The next drawing, though of terrible quality in the way all five year-olds drawings are, makes the smile slip off of her face in seconds. 

“This is the monster!” Naruto yells, making his voice deep and gravelly. “He’s very scary, but you and papa are really brave and cool!” Naruto continues on, pointing at the “monster.” 

The monster that is large and orange and has exactly nine tails. 

Next is a drawing of Minato and herself attacking the monster, with little speech bubbles that say  _ haya! _ and  _ kapow!  _

Kushina can almost  _ see _ that night. She can remember the panic she’d felt, can  _ taste _ the blood on her lips. The ringing in her ears sounds just like the screams of her village, the village that she couldn’t do much to protect when it truly needed her. 

Her hands begin to feel clammy. 

“You fight really good, and then—“ Naruto continues unaware of his mother’s thoughts, and flips to the next page hurriedly, showing a kyuubi who is now on the ground with ex’s over his eyes, her and Minato standing over it in victory with their hands above their heads. “—you and papa win! Yay!” 

Kushina lets out a strangled laugh, but it’s garbled by the tears that are suddenly springing to her eyes. 

Naruto turns, eyes meeting hers in question. Then, he’s suddenly frowning with concern, and he seems to process. Then tears are pooling in his eyes as well. He shifts in Kushina’s lap, knees still digging in and hitting pressure points all over. He moves so he’s facing her, hands coming up cupping her face with his tiny hands. 

“Momma?” He asks, voice an octave higher. “I’m sorry, the story wasn’t good, I’ll tear it up—“

“No, no!” She snaps out of the memories, ignoring them to sniff and focus on her crying son. “I loved your story  _ so _ much, baby,” Kushina assures, smiling at him earnestly through her blurry vision. 

Naruto wipes her tears without replying, a determined and dutiful look on his face. He’s still shaking with sobs, though, so it becomes less of a serious duty and more of an adorable, sweet thing. 

On instinct, she pulls Naruto in closer, enveloping him in a hug with the hopes of calming him down. 

“Then why are you sad?” He asks once he’s stopped trembling, sniffing welty into her shirt. 

Kushina pets his hair, chuckling. She swallows around mucus that had begun to gather in the back of her throat. 

“It’s a long story, Naruto. A grown-up story.” 

Naruto grumbles something about  _ dumb grown-up stories, everything’s a secret,  _ and she chuckles again, pushing him away to look at his face. 

“One day I’ll be able to tell you, okay?” She cleans his already drying tears away. 

“Why can’t you just tell me  _ now _ ?” He whines. “I can handle it!” Naruto reaches up to cup her cheeks again, but this time he squishes them together. “Please tell me, mamma! Please, please, please, please,  _ please— _ “

“Okay, okay!” Kushina grabs Naruto’s hands and pulls them down, huffing in bitter defeat. Nevermind, her son is back to being trouble. “If you stop yelling, I will tell you the story.” 

Naruto cheers with childish victory, slumping backwards and onto the floor. He moves so he’s lying down on his stomach, head held up by the palms of his hands. 

He looks so expectant and innocent like that, and Kushina knows instantly that she can’t share the real story in its entirety yet—or anytime soon. There’s no way she can do that to Naruto when he’s so young. 

But she also knows that if she refuses to say anything at all, Naruto will pout and cry and throw a temper tabdtrum. She doesn’t think she can deal with a fumming child at the moment, when she’s so on edge from flashbacks of a bloody night five years ago. 

So she sighs, straightens, and thinks of the story from a child’s perspective. 

“See,” She says slowly, carefully. “That monster you drew is a real life monster. He’s called the kyuubi.” 

Naruto’s eyes widen in fascination, and he lets out an appreciative  _ ooo _ . 

Kushina cringes internally at the wonder, because it feels so wrong to make such an appreciate sound when talking about the kyuubi, of all things. 

“A long time ago, the day you were born, he was doing a lot of bad things to the village, and your father and I had to go fight him.”

“Just like in my dream!” He exclaims, grinning so widely that his eyes close. 

Kushina winces slightly, disguising it with a grin and an awkward laugh. 

“Yes, like in your dream,” She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, then folds her hands in her lap to hide the fact that they’re shaking. “In order to make him go away, your dad had to put him inside of me. So that I could keep him from doing bad things again.” 

Naruto frowns, cocking his head to the side. 

“Inside you?” 

Kushina nods. 

He motions to her, eyebrows scrunched together. 

“Like in your  _ soul _ ?” 

He sounds so appalled by it that Kushina has to laugh a little. 

“You could say that.” Her hand goes to her stomach, where she knows the seal is imprinted on her skin. 

“Wow…” Naruto coos, looking down at his hands like he’s thinking of the possibility of some beast being trapped inside his soul. He doesn’t say anything—just looks entirely perplexed and amazed. 

She allows him to process the information in silence. 

It’s when he starts to pout that Kushina speaks up again. 

“I’m safe, don’t worry. Your momma is strong.” She grins. 

This does absolutely nothing to appease the look of concern on his face. Naruto sits up again, crossing his legs. His hands grasp his ankles as he leans forward, face scrunched up. 

_ Here we go. All the questions I can’t answer.  _

“Is he lonely?” 

Kushina blinks. 

_ What? _

“What?” 

Naruto isn’t undeterred. In fact, he seems even more sincere, if possible. His eyes are wide with something akin to desperation. 

“Is he lonely? The monster. Do you ever talk to him?” 

The question is so bizarre. It catches her so off-guard that she finds herself blanking, unable to grasp any kind of concernable answer. 

Is he lonely? Do you ever talk to him? 

She tries to think of that—just talking to the kyuubi for the sake of it. Saying hello. Making conversation. 

_ What have you been up to?  _

_ Oh, nothing. I’ve just been here. Inside this seal. Wasting away.  _

Definitely not. 

She thinks about spending years in a single place with someone who bore significant resentment. 

The moment of guilt passes quickly, because the kyuubi had done this to itself. It’s actions were inexcusable, and either way, it needed to pay for its crimes. 

Even with her resolve, she can’t think of an answer that will please Naruto. Maybe nothing will, since her son is too naive to understand something as complex as the monster within her. 

“The monster is bad, Naruto,” She tries. “It might be lonely, but it’s—“

“Even if he did bad things, what if he’s sorry?” Naruto interrupts her, lips turning downward. “When you put me in time out, I’m angry at first. But then after a while, I’m just really sorry that I did the thing. So what if he’s super duper sorry, but is stuck in time out forever?” 

A hysterical laugh bubbles in her throat before she can stop it. 

The kyuubi...had destroyed the village. Of course, Obito had been the one to set it free in the first place, but that didn’t change the way the kyuubi had killed countless people, and put many at risk. It didn’t change the way Kushina, Minato, and Naruto had almost lost their lives. It didn’t change the way that tragedy had been wedged into peaceful Konoha like a vice, leaving traces of trauma even years afterwards. 

Nothing could excuse that. 

Kushina sighs, bringing her hand up to grip the bridge of her nose. She looks back down at Naruto after a moment. 

His head is sagging to the side, eyebrows scrunched, lips jutted out, vaguely irritated. 

He’s too innocent to understand this, Kushina realises. There’s nothing she can say that won’t turn into a larger, mature conversation that he just isn’t ready for. 

“I shouldn’t have told you,” She says, honestly. 

Naruto’s bottom lip wobbles a little. He looks away. 

“I’ll just ask dad later. Whatever.” 

Kushina tries for a moment to say something that will make Naruto feel better, but decides that there really is nothing. She leaves him like that, even if it isn’t the right thing to do, because she can’t think of anything to say at all. 

All she can picture is that night—the exhaustion in her bones, the panic of not having her newborn by her side, the shock of discovering that Obito had caused all of it. The fight that had droned on all night, with the strongest of Konoha up to bat. 

Most of whom had given their lives in exchange for a rocky peace forming between the Uchiha and the rest of the village. It wasn’t a fair exchange, but it had had to be that way. 

Kushina stops in the hallway to lean against the wall, nausea flooding through her. 

She reminds herself of the facts as she grapples for balance. 

Obito had been manipulated and mislead. 

The kyuubi had been released from its seal. It had caused a disaster. Had killed people, injured people. 

_There was no way,_ Kushina thinks. _There is_ no way _it deserves forgiveness._

—

Minato gets home later on that evening, smelling of sweat and oak wood. Kushina gives him a chaste kiss, refusing to allow anymore before he’d even showered. 

“Papa!” Naruto comes running out of his room with a big grin on his face, running directly into Minato’s knees. 

“Hey, Naruto,” Minato chuckles, bringing a hand to cup the back of Naruto’s head gingerly. “How was your day?” 

“Good!” Naruto exclaims, grinning so widely his eyes almost close. “I drew, and then momma told me a story,” He gets a little pouty at that, glancing down. “I think we fought a little, but—“

“Woah, you fought with your mom?” Minato looks up to meet Kushina’s eyes, a silent question there. 

Kushina waves her hand, mouthing  _ later _ . 

“I wasn’t  _ mean _ !” Naruto whines, pulling down on Minato’s shirt. “We didn’t think the same thing was right.” 

Minato nods solemnly, prying Naruto’s fingers off his clothing, not different then the way someone would pry a cat's claws off them. 

“Well, you should probably apologise anyways, huh? Your mom does a lot for you, Naruto.” 

Naruto hangs his head low, bottom lip wobbling as it had earlier. He turns around, arms loose and waving as he waddles over to Kushina. He butts his head against her thigh. 

“I’m really sorry, momma.” 

She looks up to Minato before she kneels down, gawking at the adorable sincerity of Naruto’s actions. Once at eye level with the child, she brushes her thumb over the crest of his cheekbone. 

“Don’t worry about it, Naruto. Like I said. Grown-up conversation.” 

Naruto nods sagely, and immediately brightens up again. 

“What are we having for dinner?” 

Kushina chuckles, standing and brushing off her dress. 

“Fish and rice cakes.” 

Naruto cheers, and then is thumping back across the floor, knowing dinner won’t be ready for a while. 

Kushina watches after him with a smile. 

“Grown-up conversation?” Minato asks, breaking her trance. He’s sliding out of his vest and hanging it on a peg on the wall as he says it, craning his neck to lift an eyebrow. 

She sighs heavily. 

“Naruto had a dream about the night the kyuubi attacked.” 

Minato freezes. 

“He drew pictures about it, and asked me about it. But I couldn’t—“ The feeling’s from earlier wash over her again, and she wraps her arms around herself in an attempt to feel less panick-y. “I couldn’t tell him the whole story. And he didn’t understand what I told him.”

“So you told him something,” Minato clarifies, seeming as calm and collected as usual. He walks further down the entryway, towards their bedroom. 

Kushina trails behind him as she rambles on about the dream their son had had, and how she’d shared a basic, child-appropriate story. 

“But at the end, he asked me if the kyuubi was lonely.” 

“What,” Minato turns again, face blank, having been collecting clothes for a shower. 

“That’s what I said!” She exclaims, pointing. “But then he made this entire explanation about how maybe the kyuubi is lonely, mommy, and maybe he’s not bad anymore, and maybe he’s been in time out long enough, and—“

He chuckles, suddenly, and Minato is wrapping his arms around her. He kisses the top of her head before pulling away again, meeting her eyes. 

“Kushina. The kyuubi wasn’t always a rogue creature. It used to live somewhere in peace, before the Uchiha started using it to wage their wars.”

For a split second she’s drawn back by her husband’s voice—so smooth, like a flowing river soaring through her mind. 

Then she snaps out of it, pushing Minato away and squinting. 

“Don’t use your hogake voice on me, mister. I’m not one of your anbu soliders that you can just order around!” Kushina crosses her arms as she turns away, stepping out of comforting range. 

“I know, I know! Sorry.” There’s classic Minato wariness heavy in his voice, apology bleeding with earnesty. “Just thought calming you down might make you think about what Naruto said more.” 

In truth, she doesn’t want to think about what Naruto had said at all. She’d pondered it for only a few seconds, and had ended up with such a confusing wave of guilt that she’d pushed it as far out of her mind as it would go. 

And now her husband was telling her to listen to those feelings. 

Kushina sighs, long and exasperated. She leans her face on her palm, drooping a little. 

“Fine. I’ll think about it. Just go take a shower, and I’ll start dinner.”

Minato smiles, reaching out seemingly on impulse to kiss Kishuna, but thinks better of it at the last minute. He takes his folded clothes with him and exits the bedroom. 

Kushina knows she should really be getting to cooking, but a sudden voice speaks in her mind. 

_ I’m such a popular topic of conversation today, aren’t I? _

She shudders at the mere sound of its voice, closing her eyes where she stands.

When she opens her eyes again, she’s inside her mind. She’s ankle-deep in water, and just a few feet in front of her is a humongous metal door. In the center is a paper. It reads seal. 

It’s what behind the bars that makes her stand a little straighter, the hair on the back of her neck standing on end. 

Kyuubi laughs, rich and blatantly malevolent. 

“It’s been a while, Uzumaki Kushina. You never stop in to ask for help anymore, do you? Too busy with that child of yours.”

One of Kyuubi’s claws clinks against the bars as it pushes it through the slot, baring its teeth and growling. 

Kushina takes a deep breath, and then a few steps closer. 

“I came to talk to you.”

“Talk to me?” Kyuubi snarls, tone showing its disinterest for compliance. 

“Naruto proposed that you might be…” She goes to say it, but the words feel so weird on her tongue; a contradiction to everything she’s ever thought. The kyuubi doesn’t have  _ feelings _ , it’s just evil and cruel. “Lonely. Or sorry,” She grits it out, finally, clenching her fist. 

Kyuubi sneers, retracting its claw. 

“Sorry? Why would I be  _ sorry _ ?”

Kushina meets the eyes of the giant beast before her, taking in Kyuubi’s complete glory. Its overpowering, arrogant, evil, terrifying glory. 

_ What was I thinking? I can’t do this! _

She turns around, taking a half of a step away.

“Why would I  _ apologize _ to a bunch of people who have never bothered to do more than trap me inside this seal and use me for power?”

_ It used to live somewhere in peace, before the Uchiha started using it to wage their wars. _

Kushina halts. 

“I’m not some tool for you rotten ninja. The second there’s an opening—” There’s another loud clang as the cage is pushed on.

Kushina whips around, watching as Kyuubi pounds on its cage door hard enough to send vibrations through the entire room. The water ripples at her feet. 

“I will finally get my revenge.” It spits, teeth bared. 

Kyuubi begins to slink back towards the darker parts of the inside of the cage, into the shadows where she won’t be able to see it, but words slip from her lips before she can help them.

“Did you used to live somewhere?”

The kyuubi freezes. Its eyes glow in the darkness, a fury of rage. 

Kushina continues.

“I know you weren’t always under the Uchiha’s control. So what did you do before then?” Her confidence growing, she takes another step towards kyuubi. “Before Madara?”

A large jaw snaps at her, foam dripping into the water. 

“How dare you ask that! What’s your sudden interest in my backstory? You were perfectly fine with letting me rot away before, what’s changed—”

“Naruto.” Kushina says plainly, exhaling slowly. 

“Naruto,” Kyuubi drawls, unimpressed. 

“Yes, Naruto. My son is the entire reason I’m even offering you a chance to redeem yourself, so unless you want to be stuck here for the rest of eternity, I suggest you start trying to get me on your side.” She crosses her arms with a small  _ hmph! _ , glancing away. 

There’s silence for a long moment. Silence where Kushina almost thinks of just leaving, because what is she doing? She promised to  _ think _ about this, not make friends with the demon inside her!

But then Kyuubi is laughing. Slowly, at first, just small chuckles. But the small chuckles turn into laughs, and then bellows that bounce off the walls and resonate in Kushina’s ears. It lies down, resting it’s chin on its crossed front paws and looking at Kushina with curious, amused eyes. 

“I don’t feel like talking, today,” Kyuubi shrugs. “Ask me again another time.”

She doesn’t know why, but the words make something in her chest rise and fall, like another wave of emotions. But these aren’t heavy with tragedy. These are bouncy and light— _ amusement _ . 

Imagine that. Finding a creature like the kyuubi  _ entertaining _ . 

“Just one thing, then.” She says, folding her hands in front of her. 

Kyuubi grunts noncommittally. 

“Do you have a name? I’m guessing it’s not just kyuubi.”

Kushina finds a smile tugging at her lips at the beast’s stunned silence. 

Why does this feel so familiar?

“It’s...Kurama.” His voice is rough, almost angry. But there’s an underlying softness to it that is strange in too many ways to think of. 

“Kurama,” Kushina repeats, testing the syllables on her tongue. 

_ Naruto might have been right, after all. Maybe I should listen to his ideas more. _

“Let’s talk tomorrow, Kurama.”

**Author's Note:**

> what’dja think? lemme know in the comments boo


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